A Masquerader's Rêve
by UnderThePureMoon
Summary: Ethan dreams of stars to replace the sun in his dark black sky. All he needs is one sun, though. - Ethan, Lyra, Kris, Leaf, & White.
1. Moment I Knew

**Hey, title means "A Masquerader's Dream" in French, minus the 'a'. Also, this was posted singly, much like the other pieces of the series will be, but I really wanted to put this into one, as well. I hope you enjoy this if you didn't read it singly or something. This whole shenanigan is only for convenience and such, and because as I told you, I think it would look nice all in one.**

**Pokemon isn't mine. **

* * *

_"And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show?" ~ The Moment I Knew; Taylor Swift._

It's the knock on the door that startles him; at first. But he smiles, because it's expected and he opens the door to find the one who is most certainly _not_ who he was expecting.

She is not the same, the confident and cocky glow doesn't glow in her big eyes, her hair is not the same, it's brown and curls upward, doesn't spike, her eyes show way too much sweetness.

And he doesn't know what to do, who to tell or what to say.

Because Kris should be here, not some full replacement, Kris should be here with her "you can't beat me" smirk and way too much confidence.

But this girl is innocent and cute and different and she smiles and waves and Ethan realizes that he's only been thinking these things for mere seconds, but her face drops as he feels the smile he once held instantly turn to a frown.

"What's wrong, Ethan?" she asks casually, like she has been the girl he's in love with for years.

"Who… who are you?" he asks.

She tilts her head, in a confused manor, and puts her hand on his arm, "Ethan, it's me, it's Lyra. Are you alright?"

He doesn't know what to say, but his eyes are judging her in a gaze that screams "go away!"

It's too late when he realizes he's actually shouted that, and Lyra looks down at him, like she always has, concerned.

**.**

**.**

Kris should have been here.

Should have been here, his eyes would've shined the way they only do around her.

And he hears the clock tick as he sits alone in his room and waits for her to enter, like she said she would.

She said she'd be here, after all.

And it's slow motion as he realizes that she will not come today and he moves to his bed to sleep.

His dreams are peaceful, parasitic to his mind and there is just one thing missing from his life:

_her_.

He's so confused at what to do and what to think about her not showing up, not even in his dreams and in her place it's Lyra, who has apparently known him his whole life.

But he doesn't know her.

**.**

**.**

She's always known he imagined too much, always known he was going to have to put up a wall when she left.

He always stared at her, eyes dazzling and he would compliment her and they were _best friends_.

She doesn't know what's gotten him like this, why he doesn't recognize her.

Maybe she shouldn't have left, or brought him with her. But it's not going to change the fact that he's invented some kind of fantasy where she is someone else.

That's painful.

**.**

**.**

All he wants is to think and be alone, despite that Lyra tells him to come with her.

The sinking feeling sets in, he's trying not to fall apart when Kris, once again, doesn't show up to him.

And he realizes:

_Kris isn't real_.

Lyra left on her journey, something he's too afraid to do or try, he would just show up and smile at her.

But when she went farther away, he created a fantasy where he was a hero and his heroine princess, Kris, was his best friend and he was in love with her.

And they, along with Silver, had great times and though Silver would just sulk all they could do was laugh and smile and try to make him smile.

And they did succeed.

And she's missing now because his fantasy world _can't_ exist, Kris is merely a piece of scrap paper in his trash can.

The moment hits; Ethan instantly starts breathing heavily, nervous. He imagine someone else to be Lyra, because he _loved_ Lyra.

And what did he just do?

He pushed her away, told her he_ never wanted to see her ever again_, and now she's probably gone off on another adventure and in love with someone else.

(But Lyra is too concerned, all she can do is sit and cry because he doesn't know her, told her he never wanted to see her again, and tears stream because she _loved him too_.)

(She has to move away now because she loves him, since he doesn't want to see her again, and she would do anything to keep him content.)

Now there's no one to be with, no friends to impress or to have, because Kris has left him too.

And once more, he is secluded, in love with a fantasy world as he imagines the next friend who will love him even more than the other two who left him.


	2. Last Time

**Summary: **_Her name is Leaf, and she twirls in a way Lyra can't, smiles a way Kris doesn't. - GoldenLeafShipping_

**Part two of four. Enjoy, dudes.**_  
_

**Pokemon ain't mine, y'all.**

* * *

_"This is the last time I'm asking you why: you break my heart in the blink of an eye." ~ The Last Time; Taylor Swift ft Gary Lightbody_

As Ethan stares out his window, Lyra gone again, desperation hangs lowly in the air, like a boat falling deep into the deep blue.

And all Ethan can think is that he's_ tired_.

It's a kind of tired that sleep _can't_ fix, and the only thing that can fix it is missing, the only thing that can fix it is the thing he pushed to the farthest edges of the world.

He's lost in seas and seas of despair, of depression, of nothing but the opposite of bliss, of nothing but cold, bitter emotions when everything outside is so fucking sunny and bright.

And he wants to hate the weather, the people, the smiles that emanate from them: but he can't, because they all remind him of her and her bright, childish ways. Her sunny smile, bright huge eyes and everything about her that he wants to forget.

He wants to drown in his despair.

But there's another one who wouldn't let him do that.

And she's got brown hair, and the brown eyes that make him do nothing but _swoon_, yet something differs from her and Lyra, something differs from her and Kris.

Her name is Leaf, and she twirls in a way that Lyra doesn't, her smiles aren't like Kris's "baby I'm here" smiles.

Her eyes show signs of star potential, her smiles are figured with "try and beat me" and she's not as cocky as Kris, because she doesn't have to be, because she _knows_ that she's good enough to the point where being cocky is plain _stupid_.

Her hat covers her brown eyes, though, and Ethan is convinced to see them once before he drowns.

But Leaf won't let him drown, because her eyes, though unseen, show hints of not only challenge, but also compassion. She is nothing more than sweet to the bone.

Yet her sweetness is not artificial like Lyra's, her sweetness is not hidden like Kris's, it's simply there, right in her eyes - and even the dumbest can sense it.

Instead, Ethan drowns in his feelings for Leaf.

**.**

**.**

Leaf is tied to his town, she says. She tells him this town is too much like her own, what she had been striving to get away from. And she wants to go.

And Ethan tells her to stay in his room, he will literally be back in three seconds, he just needs to check - check for vital signs of Lyra, who will not appear. She's cut his heartstrings and Leaf has been trying to put them together again.

And she failed, because Ethan won't listen to reason, won't listen to compassion and the wind in this town is crazy, and however much she may be enchanted by the free wind that howls in, she has to go far, far away because Ethan no longer wants to listen and she can no longer be tied to this town.

(Being tied to this town is the same reason Lyra used when she went out on her journey.)

And when Ethan comes back, she is _gone_, _she's disappeared_.

And no more dreams of kissing Leaf in the rain, of watching autumn leaves with her, no more of her compassion and slight blushes and wide smiles, no more drowning in feelings for her -

because she is gone.

But he still pretends she's there, kissing his cheek, blushing at his compliments, teasing him like she's known him forever, talking with him about everything and finally, just staring at him in such a familiar way he _swears_ he's seen it before, stared into that _same gaze_ before.

Until the illusion melts -

And once more, Ethan is alone.

**.**

**.**

_Leaf is a fantasy_.

She was created to be a new Lyra, to replace the last two that left. But Leaf is gone, so far far away, back into the pits of Hell in Ethan's mind.

Leaf left for reasons like Lyra did, she had that sugary sweetness, the brown hair and brown eyes. She was cocky like Kris, always teasing like Kris, but she blushed much like Lyra.

She was a god damn hybrid that he formed, and every time he thinks about it he wants to scream. He's stuck spiraling into a tornado, a car crash that just keeps happening.

And no one wants to stay with Ethan any longer, but he will wait for Lyra forever if he can.

He will wait and wait and wait and let his boyish dream of holding her in his arms and kissing her in the rain be granted.

(He had the same dreams about Leaf, who was only Lyra in a mask.)

And when Lyra came back, so would Leaf and Kris, and he would kiss them out of her, so that they would be free to do as they please.

So that they wouldn't be Lyra masquerading around in another costume on Halloween, begging for candy, begging for Ethan to let them into his heart.


	3. All Too Well

_**Summary: **She is long, long gone from your house. Long, long gone from your windy little town. - WindyTownShipping_

**So, here's part three of four.**

**Pokemon isn't mine. **

* * *

_"The air was cold, but something 'bout it felt like home." ~ All Too Well; Taylor Swift._

The first thing White thinks is that the wind is much, much colder than home. It chills her, makes her shiver, makes her wish she had listened to her mom about layering all those years ago.

White looks up, looks at the new region beyond her, vast mountain of silvery snow in the background and she smirks. It will be fun here, she tells herself.

And he is staring at her like she's something from a fairy tale staring at her from his doorway. His eyes are boring, blank, brown, remind her too much of someone she knows and hers are blue, dazzling, reflect the brightest tops of the ocean - like Kris's eyes.

She smiles at him slightly, smirk falling into what she would call a 'smile', but he takes it as more of a frown. So he nods up and gives her a bright smile.

_Deliriously bright._

White swears it's been years since she's seen a smile that bright - two years, to be exact - and she's pulling herself off of the Pokemon she had been surfing on.

And perhaps she'll go in for a minute, they'll have a chat and she'll learn he's not like the boys she's known, the one with the same boring, blank, brown eyes and the one with the same bright smile.

But the wind is still cold.

Too cold, too many shivers are racked in her body, and it seems she's walking towards him like he's a magnet.

**.**

**.**

Ethan is enchanted once more, a girl with the brown hair, the striking blue eyes, the ones that peer at him like she's seeking his soul.

He pulls at her hat, she giggles and removes it, puts it down and reminds herself to get it later.

But hands are caressing her cheeks, and she is warming up at the touch, so she leans into it and Ethan smiles.

White kisses him thrice, and he is left as a blushing mess, and White cannot bring herself to leave his house; as if she is Gretel and this is the witch's house, full of candy and magic and wonders.

But the wind is still too cold.

White is cold.

She would love to have more candy, get the sugar rush that people imply she's always on, yet she senses that the boy is lonely. Pictures of a girl with big, sweet, sparkling brown eyes, childish curled pigtails, and a smile that resembles her own are displayed all over his room.

She guesses this is an ex-girlfriend. Would he not reject White if he really loved this girl?

"I love you, Lyra," he tells her.

And White flinches, that's it; the air is too cold, his love for this girl is too much, he has no candy or sugar to spare for her.

So she gets up and leaves.

Ethan is alone for the third time, holding onto her hat that she forgot.

**.**

**.**

_White was a fantasy._

She had Lyra's brown hair, Lyra's dazzling smile, Kris's deep blue eyes and Leaf's attitude. There was no teasing, very little cockiness, but her smile implied she was Leaf on the inside.

She was always shivering in his windy town when the wind blew.

But when he said he loved her - or rather, Lyra - why did she leave?

All these girls were dreamed of because he _did not_ have Lyra. Because he loved Lyra.

_They were all made to be pieces of Lyra._

Yet the girls are all different, and they reflect each other with the 'heroine' attitude and look, they reflect Lyra in smiles, in bright eyes, in sweetness.

Yes, White was another fantasy - one he saw where he kissed her, wind running through her hair, except her hair was down, out of it's pony-tailed confinement, and her face was blushing, like Lyra's blush, and a dream he always had of Lyra.

One he saw where she would laugh at his jokes, like Lyra did , one where they talked for hours on end, like he did with Lyra, one where teasing from Ethan never ceased, like he did to Lyra, one where the autumn leaves fell and he caught one and gave it to her, like he did to Lyra when they were younger.

All like Lyra.

It drives him insane and he hides his head under a pillow, lets his tears that have been bottled up finally fall freely.

Lyra's gone, gone, gone, but he loves her more the sun, more than any of the girls he encountered.

Oh, they were all beautiful and wonderful, but they are _nothing_ compared to Lyra. They are all Lyra, if put together as one, after all.

And Ethan smiles as he thinks of Lyra, but tears pour once more as the sun is gone from his Earth. He pushed it away and this is his punishment:

Dreaming of never ending stars that light up his life for a mere moment, and then fly away because they are a fantasy.

The real star, the sun, will come back to him one day, when he's ready to be in a straight jacket, and that will be the day the sun confesses her love, the day when random stars stop leaving him all alone, without light.


	4. I Almost Do

**Summary: The sky can't bear to part with his lovely sun ever again. – HeartSoulShipping**

**here have the final part**

**Pokemon isn't mine.**

* * *

_"And I just wanna tell you: it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do." - I Almost Do; Taylor Swift; Red_

He sat on his bed; staring out at the entrance to his town, like he always did, waiting for her to call, to come in, so he could kiss her, tell her she was _everything_.

His Pokegear lay in a heap right next to him, his hand always on it, waiting for a message, waiting for her to say she's at his door.

His eyes must have fooled him when he thought he saw her - because that was only Leaf. Only White. Only Kris.

They were standing in a circle, waiting for him to open his door to them, waiting for him to tell them he loved them more than he loved Lyra.

There was one small problem though -

He _didn't_.

He only wanted them to be happy on their own, be real and not fantasies - though the latter wasn't possible.

**.**

**.**

She sat down, looking at her own phone, killing her thoughts of Ethan. Try to remember, she told herself, he said he doesn't want to see her again.

But there was hope - evil and burning inside her - that he would call her, or she would call him and he'd answer, and he'd tell her he never meant it, and they would be best friends - _lovers _- once more.

She was practically biting her lip, ready to tie herself to a post. She would not call him. She _wouldn't_. She _wouldn't_. Now or ever.

So, she lied on her bed, letting her tears slip. She wouldn't even do say hello to him because then they'd have to part again.

(It hurt so much - _almost worse _than when she had to move away from him.)

They made _such _a mess - people believing they were engaged or something - and she couldn't go back.

Her mom called her three different times - each the same. _"How are you?" "Where are you now?" "How are you holding up?" "Are you sure you don't want to come home?"_

Friends from other regions had called her, some gym leaders, some actual trainers, others just normal people, they all wanted to know if she was okay, if she wanted to stay with them.

But she would never pick up, only listen to the messages and let more tears fall - because _he_ used to care for her that way.

She was dying to call him - she needed to, her fingers burning - but she didn't. She wouldn't.

No. She would never, unless he wanted to contact her.

Everything was over, as he had stated her.

**.**

**.**

But there it is, the next night, three in the morning; she _knows_ he's still up - _God, is he_? Does she even _know_ him? - hopes he might be wondering about her.

She knows he likes to watch the wind at this time of night and look at the people that scatter in and out of town because they need somewhere to stay.

(Cherrygrove is actually very popular at night.)

She knows because there are times when he's showed her - her hands being held by his and they're laughing and smiling and just everything is so _perfect _and_ beautiful_.

But right now she's crying, and she dials his number and she's hoping he'll pick it up.

Fuck, _please_ let him pick up. If there's anything she could ever want, _Christ_, all she wants is for him to fucking pick up his stupid phone!

**.**

**.**

He hears his ringtone, and he's scrambling, dropping the phone, running after it and catching it.

(Her tears are falling faster now, because it's rung quite a few times, close to the voice mail message.)

And then he opens it - she hears his soft breath, he her uneasy, dying, tearful breath.

"...Hello?" is the _only_ thing she can say at this point, trying to wipe her tears and sniffling.

"Lyra, I've been _dying_ for your call."


	5. Epilogue - Parasitic

**Summary: And despite the hurting and the waiting, you're still eating away at my heart. - ReturnToStartShipping**

**Pokemon isn't mine.**

* * *

_"If I had known what I know now, I never would've played so nonchalant." - Come Back... Be Here; Taylor Swift, Red_

* * *

They meet at the top of the mountain - him looking for the greatest challenge, her trying to find something true - and one glance is all it takes for him to see the way she's fading in and out, unlike a normal being.

She was one of Ethan's fantasies, he can tell, because it's the brown hair and brown eyes that sets her off - because she looks faintly like Lyra, but she twirls in a way Lyra can't, smiles in a way Lyra can't

(That sentence is _so_ familiar to him... _Where_ has he heard it?)

In fact, she smiles at him like no one else ever has. She smiles like nobody he's ever known. And she's pretty and he wants to smile back, but his attitude, his mind won't let him do what his heart wants him to.

(He doesn't listen to his heart, after all.)

But she smiles so brightly, and he can feel his face warming up, his body warming up from her smile, and that's_ insane _because they're on top of a below freezing mountain.

**.**

**.**

And once he's actually talked to her, he finds it easier to slightly smile, the strongest smile he can muster, the brightest smiles for her and her _alone_. But everything is different when she presses her cold hands on his cheeks - stares into his silver eyes with her beautiful brown ones.

(And he_ finally _understands why Ethan swoons over girls with brown eyes.)

When she brings their lips together, he's red like the roots of his hair - bright and warm and unsure of how to react to her without being awkward.

But she giggles, and if it's something that can make her laugh and smile and do these things that make him happy, then it's enough.

She's fallen in love with him, though he doesn't notice he's done the same. He doesn't notice she's in love with him either. So she acts nonchalant about everything she does when he can almost sense it - it's _cute_ how he doesn't notice.

And since he doesn't notice, they're at the magnet train in Saffron City, and he's going to Johto, and one last kiss is all it is before he's gone back to his region - the one he's travelled in for God knows how long.

She wants to go with him, but how can a _fantasy_ get on a train when only _one_ person can see her?

How can a _fantasy_ be in love and live in _tranquility_ when no one else notices her?

She waits on the mountain, waits by the magnet train, four in the morning when someone wakes her up, tells her she has to leave. Two people notice her, a boy she _loves_ (though she's _unsure_ she knows him at all) and a train station employee.

(She told herself _not_ to get _attached_, damn it.)

**.**

**.**

It's three years later when she's at the train station again, pulling at her clothes, ten in the morning, having slept here all night, no employee telling her to go because they've gotten used to her antics of waiting and waiting.

Crowds notice her now, and they think that's so _sweet_ what she's doing. She makes a guess that he's in Goldenrod City - or rather she _knows_.

And then he gets off the train, and he's running towards her, her him, and though she's older, he's taller because she jumps into his arms and he catches her so easily.

The kiss is beautiful, bruising, parasitic. The two _need_ each other to be noticed. To feel _wanted_.

The kiss creates cheers and applause from the crowd and they're whistling, clapping, some even crying at the beautiful kiss they had witnessed.

Leaf is no longer a fantasy, because she needed him to create her in real life. And he did, as he promised to her all those years ago.

(everything is once again _perfect_ and she no longer needs to wait outside a doorstep for candy from a boy who _only_ loves one - because she now has the _perfect boy_, who will_ always _love her _more_ than anyone.)


End file.
